03 - For Better Or For Worse

I'm sitting at my girlfriend's work right about now. She's inside working on a callback assignment, when she was on-call but she needed to go back in to do some more lab work. It is 11:49 and I wish I had some sleep. Last night I got a good 8 hours, so it isn't too terrible, yet I wish I was under a comforter. Too bad another me is sleeping just fine in his bed. At least another me happened to get no sleep the entire day before, and I can take solace knowing I can be worse off.

We're on a travel contract right now in North Dakota. We brought our cat with us, and he's quite the rascal. He loves tearing up the AirBnb owner's leather couch. There are so many scratches. Dammit. I've sent some inquiries about how much the new couch cushion covers would cost, yet no one got back to me. Another me knows how much it'll cost to fix. Why not me? Oh well, at least I'm better off than the me that has no leather left on their Airbnb owner's couch.

And to add insult to injury, I'm quite nervous about all the conflict in the world. Ukraine and Russia seem to be heating up once more, China feels extra interested in Taiwan, North Korea keeps playing with fire, and nuclear weapons are still in existence. I wish, wish, wish I didn't have nuclear weapons in existence. Well, at least they haven't been fired yet.


Each one of these situations are indeed happening to me, pulled almost entirely out of my own journal. Yes, I was at my girlfriend's work, and I sure hoped I didn't have to be there. I would have preferred sleeping more. But unfortunately for another me, they didn't get any sleep the night before. Yes, I am at an Airbnb and the couch is all torn up, and I sure hope I know how much it'll cost to fix. At least, though, I still have a leather couch instead of a... balding couch? And yes, I am entirely concerned about world events and whether or not everything will end up far worse off, and I would damn sure hope no one even discovered nuclear arms. However, I'm grateful every day that no worldwide catastrophe strikes.

Each one of these instances, where I compared better-and-worse scenarios each have their own universe attached to them. In one universe, I do get to sleep that night, and in another I did not get any sleep the previous night.

People often tell me I could be worse off, yet I also often hear the inverse, people telling me I could be better off. Well, they couldn't be any closer to the truth; a version of me truly is better of, and another one is worse.

I suppose you can say it's gloomy to consider the fact that you aren't the best self... But that's a good thing! Working to better yourself is always the thing that makes me feel most alive.

Which version of you do you prefer?